Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
