I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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