Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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