My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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