i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
