D3 body, D1 cock
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
