I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
