Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
