Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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