So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
