It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
