I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The air taste purple.
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