Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
