you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
