Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
