How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
