idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
