Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
