guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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