Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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