bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
