"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
