If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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