Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
