i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
