So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Say something about gay babies.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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