M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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