ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Your tits are I can't wait for
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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