so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
