hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
youre lurking in front of me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
