talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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