i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can I color on your dick again?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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