I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
