Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
