it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
