Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
