So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
