another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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