24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
