i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you made out with another girl for some wings
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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