Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
