After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He passed out mid-signature
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
