can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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