A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize