He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize