Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize