just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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