1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
