apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
