not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just invented taco cereal.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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