absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
