I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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