I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
