PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
