I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
