Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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