Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think my moral compass just broke
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
