Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
