Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize