I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
