the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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