well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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