This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My vagina just recognized that song.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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