the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
