i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
where are my eyebrows?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
