My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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