Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
